there are times in your life when you feel like you needed some changes. some massive changes in your life. or maybe just an excuse to escape current life progress. whichever it is, this is one of the times i feel like i need a change in my life.

i wonder if everyone feels the same. my life sucks. i guess the worst part of it is i'm still single. people might say i'm just 21. but being single for all these years sucks. after my first relationship, i just felt like there is no one else for me. it's like there is only me and my ex, and i would not get back to my ex... i doubt that my ex would too.

i wanna quit my jobs too. working and studying at the same time is just too stressful. call me ambitious. but i wanna be more than just a uni student. having a job and be active in clubs are ideal. but all of this are just overwhelming. especially when you have a lot of people who can piss you off without even flicking their fingers. there are just people like that all over the place. and oh yeah, my boss sucks. she is a typical money sensitive and staff-torturing singaporean lady. and somehow i just don't feel like i'm good enough at my job.

I Want Them All...!!!

I used to want so much. I want my life to be productive. I want myself to be useful. I want to go through every reading material before lectures. I want to pay full attention in lectures. I want to revise every time after lectures. I want to be active in club activities. I want to make more friends. I want to read a plenty of books. I want to exercise. I want to try out every restaurant in Melbourne. I want to get a job. I want to start a diary.

I want to do all I want. I want I can want what I want to want. I want this not to be just another dream...

New Things In My Life

I have tried so many new things I had always wanted to try lately! Although the cash flows like a running stream, it is worth it. I have never pictured myself sitting in one of those orchestra hall and listening to glass breaking high pitch voice. Somehow, I did.

The concert was super fantastic and the hall was phenomenal. I am glad I got the chance to see it for the last time before the renovation the starts tomorrow to Hamer Hall, named after some Hamer guy. Despite the fact that I purchased the ticket blinded, I enjoyed the show very much as other seniors (I strongly believe that I was the youngest audience among the crowd of full house). The concert was not as unfamiliar as I thought it would be. They performed several songs that are in my playlist. I was most excited to find out that one of the performers was going to sing 'Sway' by Michael Buble. It was a magnificent breathtaking performance (I still prefer the original version though...) and I have to say they broke a leg, or two. The concert was ended perfectly with a sing along, 'Time To Say Goodbye' by all the singers and the girls choir. It was very scenic when people started throwing ribbons at the performing stage. I would have said it is too drama-like if I was not there. But no doubt, they deserve the applause. To highlight the night, I had 'Fries Of The Lord' and Spanish doughnuts coupled with a sheer freezing coke in a violently chilling night.

Let's talk something ongoing. My job hunt. I thought the person in charge is called Gab as in Gabriel, but his name turns out to be Gav as in Gavin. I had in my desire to succeed the interview with a blast, but I guess I blew it after all, with a non-impressing resume and noncontinuous flow of speech. However, I'm glad I did it, with no regret... (trying to console myself...)

Two Things I Like About Today

There are two things that make my life today. Firstly, the twenty dollars all you can eat style buffet at Kitchen Workshop. It surely was the best buffet I had so far. The fore-meals, main courses, and fine desserts had given me the strong perception that Melbourne has the best food choice ever and no man ever walked on this planet could deny it. The pastas, fish fillets, French onion soups, mashed potatoes, teppanyakies, jellies, brownies, sundaes, prawns, hams... and so so much that you would find it hard to memorize them like those Medicines In Profile I have to memorize. And yes, all plurals. Of course I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to release the carnivorous beast that resides within me for a taste of those scrumptious and drool synthesizing dishes served! The reason I'm saying this is because meat is what makes it worth it the most. The teppanyaki veges and the salads are just much less appetizing and obsessive.

Oh yea, the second thing that makes my life today is a call from Gab. I thought the resume that I handed over would not make it to the person in charge or deserve a glance from him! But hey, I'm wrong. He called me this morning to let me know that he is indeed hiring a part-timer and would like me to go over and talk on this Sunday. Life is good isn't it? Of course I wouldn't embrace so much hopes for this uncertainty just in case of a further disappointment. But this is definitely an improvement, a change. For me, this is an acknowledgement of my effort yesterday. Cheers!

Job Hunt

Believe those who say getting a job in city ain't easy, because it is not easy.

I chose to walk-in-interview because I believe that taking initiative is a valuable virtue that any employers would appreciate. It sure takes a lot of guts to put that stupid and heavy step across the entrance and ask for a job. Especially when you do not have the slightest idea if a vacancy is available. I was so convinced that my ability to construct a sentence would be inhibited if I have to encountered a real-life pharmacist. Although that was not the case, I'm sure I had the most desire to escape that awkward confrontation.

I'm proud of myself. Despite the fact that I did only two out of five of my expectation. But I did get my ass in an unknown foreign pharmacy and repeat the same old sentence I have been practicing :"I'm just wondering if you have any vacancies for student pharmacist?" Obviously, as I would have expected, it didn't work out. I didn't get a job out of that effort, and I'm still slacking off like I did every past holiday. I am so fucked up. For the first time in my petty little life, I feel like I am one of those Americans who contributes nothing but to the elevated carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

Melancholies Again...

Finally some mood for blogging. Actually is just too boring to do anything else, so blogging is the only thing to kill time. So... what's the topic for today?

Let's talk about me staying alone. One day, someone told me you have got to stop staying alone. And the next day, magically, I was told to have someone moving in with me. Okay... That is so not okay!

I have been so comfortable staying alone in a sophisticated and spacious room. After my ex-roommate moved out, I have come to realize that having my own room is something so precious! Maybe I had realized this pretty late because all my life, I have been occupying a room by myself (except for a year in INTEC). Now that I have to share MY bathroom, MY wardrobe, MY everything in the room, this ain't easy for me.

Another huge concern is that this new roommate of mine is a PhD student! Which means there is a really huge gap between our age, area of interests, and topics of conversation. I know this is going to turn out very awkward, I know. What would a preacher say if I go to one? Maybe he will say let the misfortune that falls upon you be no burden to your life (just trying to think positive). Well, it's not the end of the world, let's see how it will go. God bless me...

Let's B.I.T.C.H

Some people are just as annoying as those little obnoxious cockroaches that you work your ass off to avoid them but they still show up and throw you a sense of failure aren't they? Well, guess what? I have been there, I know this just well.

What about taking a fair stand? I really can't remember which dude told me to see the good things about those you hate, because my eyes are blinded by the hatred I have. Well, honestly? I don't think so. I don't know what fuck up shit is he made of, his presence alone disgusts me to the bones! Hey! I don't like you! Say something smart! (Just some random quote I learned from Madea...)

Phew... this is what's so interesting about blog. You can bitch however you like for I care. Hola bloggers, let's bitch!